On Deadwood (Again) And Why the F*ck Not?

The swears

You see me empty, sir, do not pause and inquire. Simply assume and refill. —-Al Swearengen,

It’s safe to say that my current re-watching obsession has been as picked apart as any long-running premium-slash-peak television show has ever been. It’s safe to state this, even though said show lasted three seasons and three seasons only, followed by a (good, almost too-good) movie wrap up something like 10 years later. An odd trajectory to say the least, but it’s an odd show. Arguably some of the best hours of television out there and that’s saying something in our current spoiled state of let’s-watch-something-excellent-but-wait-there’s-too-much-to-choose-from-let’s-pretend-to-watch-and-have-sex-on-the-couch-instead.

I mean, “Netflix and chill” is a real thing, but it is NOT because there’s “nothing on,” in my opinion. Of which I contain multitudes.

No, my current re-(re) watch is of a show that I was drawn to when it was first broadcast in the early aughts mainly because of the language. The profane language, to be precise, which is so prevalent as to be considered acceptable by the time you’ve concluded your three season allotment prior to taking in the movie. Collider claims (and I believe that they may be making a conservative account of this) that the series included nearly 3,000 expletives at an average rate of nearly 1.5 per minute. Forty-three of these expletives came during the first hour of the show’s pilot episode.

Damn, that’s a lot of swears.

And regardless of what anyone claims, the show was not cancelled because of all the f-bombs**, c-words, p-words, and references to genitalia and how one might place one’s mouth upon them. At least, I don’t think it was. And if it was, well, that’s a fucking shame.

Me? I like swear words and I use them. A lot.

There is a fair bit of drama anger ridiculous back and forth conversation online about the place of profanity in books. I’ve been taken to task about my use of it in mine, mostly from family members who shall remain nameless but still, I am prone to throw in my share of Deadwood level bad words. I’ve done plenty “find/replace” or just “find/delete/find a better word” for the f-word exercises. I just did it with my most recent book, due to come out in May, but more about that later. (much more, okay. So sue me. This is my life. I write books. I promote books.)

But then I settle in for my evening re-dose of Searengen and Co. and I’m all “fuck all those cocksucking pearl-clutchers.”

Ahem, sorry.

Not sorry.

No, I’m actually not because for the most part, I write characters who aren’t going to mince, when it comes to their choice of words so I try to keep that part of the dialogue as honest as I can.

That aside, Deadwood is an inspiring show on so many fronts for me. It’s a raw portrayal not only of “life back in the day,” i.e. life before antibiotics or safe drinking water per se. It’s a rich portrait of the brave souls who populated America as we know it, as they moved slowly (or not) westward, until they met the Pacific Ocean. No they were not all good people. Yes, they were mostly racist and oh hell yes they not only committed genocide on the original inhabitants, they took complete advantage of entire swaths of communities of immigrants, working them and yes, fucking them, into oblivion.

Lest my little substack devolve into a profanity laden treatise of what made them (and makes us) inherently American (I don’t wanna talk politics and you can’t make me), I’ll just say that anyone who claims Deadwood is just another Western, only full of swears, whores, mud, and egos, I say to you: “Yes, it fucking is.”

If you really want to know more about the use of said profanity, you gotta read this, if for no other reason than it is called: The Number of Fucks in Deadwood. Because, I am here for this level of analysis.

Vox said it best, IMO:

“Throughout its three-season run, Deadwood tackled all of the ideas that lay at the center of our society, from the way that we all agree that money will represent value (when there’s no real reason it has to) to how even the worst among us might become better people and citizens. Deadwood suggested that, at its best, society can even us all out, can make us realize there’s more to life than our own self-interest.”

To that, me and Jane (MY favorite character by far) say, “Huh, I farted, so what?”

Or rather "Every day takes figuring out all over again how to f***ing live."

I have listened to some books recently. Allow me to say that the Pride and Prejudice retelling by Curtis Sittenfeld called “Eligible,” is worth the listen. The narrator is amazing, and, although I’d forgotten what incredibly whiny little c*nts Liz’s sisters and mother are in the original, this book reminded me of that very fact. It has all of the class, gender warfare of the original….but also plenty of Skyline Chili because it’s set (mostly) in Cincinnati, although Darcy is a transplanted Californian, natch.

5 thumbs up!

I just finished another Chuck Wendig book narrated by Xe Sands, who did the female POV in his Wanderers books. Her voice has grown on me. But I will admit it has been a process. This book is a total shiver fest, about killer ants in Hawaii that, in typical Wendig fashion, is described to the point that I now feel the nasty little c*cksuckers all over me, all of the f*cking time. Turns out this is one of a series featuring Hannah Sander so now I gotta go find more of them I guess. I’m nothing if not committed to authors and narrators once I find ones I really like.

4 thumbs up, mainly because ew. Ants.

And now, my dear Substackers, I will admit, I have begun the journey. What journey is that you ask? The one wherein I will decide if Sara J. Maas books are all they claim to be. Just started the audio book version of A Court of Thorns and Roses, or ACOTAR if you one of the Cool Kids, I guess. I’ll keep you posted. One chapter in and I wanna know when the boinking starts but I’ll be patient, I promise.

Oh, and if you’re a Deadwooder (Deadwoodite?) like me, here are some fab “best ofs” to enjoy. Like Jane says…."If I had that mug on me I believe I’d cut down getting told how butt f***in' ugly I was by not staring at strangers." Omg right?

Best Swearengen quotes here.

Best Calamity Jane quotes here.

An amalgam of random ones here including Trixie’s ABSOLUTE gem re: treading lightly in hopes of p*ssy.

Got a fav Deadwood quote? Send it to me in a comment!

I leave you with this from me and Jane:

Sam Fields: "That ain't gonna raise your popularity with your fellow white people."

Calamity Jane: "Question I wake up to in the morning, and pass out with, at night - what's my popularity with my fellow white people?"

**Can’t NOT point out that a word such as this is rare and special, as it is or can be, at any given time, a noun, verb, adverb, adjective, or plain old expletive.

Carry on, f*ckers,

Liz