In Case of Chaos...

Break Out the Bitters...?

Hi! Did you miss me? No? Well…anyways…welcome back.

Let’s not pretend it isn’t weird out there. The world is hot, loud, fragile, and full of people shouting into microphones about what they think books are. (Spoiler: they are not “dangerous,” Karen. Your kid is fine. Probably way smarter the more they read that ISN’T about people who look like them.)

So in the spirit of celebrating anything we can… a finished page, a finished book, a non-soul-crushing day…I’ve pulled together some drinks. They include bitters, yes. Because apparently these days you cannot call a cocktail “elevated” (and charge $18-22 for it YIKES) unless you’ve added something that smells like grief and bark and moss.

But I’m not here to make you drink swamp water. I’m here to keep it real and delicious. And also to casually mention that the following items:

👉 I’m working on a Big Project.
The kind of project that, if the universe is even semi-kind, will land me the kind of literary agent who understands my vibe and doesn’t try to delete all my em-dashes. It’s dark, it’s twisty, it’s pharma bros taking over, and I think it might be the best thing I’ve ever written. But don’t quote me on that because I’m still in the middle and we all hate the middle.

👉 Meanwhile, my domestic suspense Cul-de-Sac is still causing problems.
Readers keep telling me they “hate everyone in this book.” Which is... fair. But also, I think, a compliment? You don’t forget characters like these, even if you’d absolutely cross the street to avoid them IRL…unless you grab them and duck into the nearest bougie bar for one of these…

GET YOUR COPY HERE BECAUSE THIS IS ME DOING MARKETING!

Now…let us make a mess in a glass and call it joy.

1. The “Fine, I’ll Use Bitters” Old Fashioned

Classic. Easy. Bitter enough to match the vibe but still goes down smooth.

• 2 oz bourbon

• 1 sugar cube

• 2 dashes Angostura bitters

• Splash of water

• Orange twist, for drama

Muddle sugar + bitters + water, add ice, pour bourbon, stir like you’re mixing your emotions. Sip and whisper “at least I’m not on Facebook yelling about drag queens.” And if you are in the “I Know Liz” Club you “know” this is my favorite, and reminds me of the Super Fun Times that were the recent Louisville Cardinals Basketball season. Me, I’m in my Yum Center Bar Era.

2. The “I Made a TikTok and Nobody Watched It” Negroni

Because Campari is a bitter—but also kind of sexy?

• 1 oz gin

• 1 oz Campari

• 1 oz sweet vermouth

• Orange slice

• Self-awareness optional

This one is strong and unapologetic. Like me, posting my book link for the fifth time this week with zero shame.

3. The “Does This Count as a Salad?” Sour

Bright and refreshing, with bitters that don’t taste like regret.

• 2 oz gin

• 1 oz lemon juice

• 0.75 oz simple syrup

• 2 dashes celery bitters

• Cucumber slice to garnish (don’t skip it or it’s NOT A SALAD)

It’s crisp. It’s vegetal. It makes you feel like you’ve had something green today. Technically, you have.

4. The “I Just Got Another Publishing Scam Email” Spritz

For when you’re trying to feel light while carrying all your crushed dreams.

• 1 oz Aperol (or orange bitters, I see you, you masochist)

• 3 oz Prosecco

• Splash of soda

• Big orange wedge because: serotonin

This pairs beautifully with telling someone “I’m querying again” and immediately following it with a feral laughing cry, with tears.

Optional Garnishes for Any of the Above:

• A sprig of “please let this year be normal”

• A dash of “I still believe in books”

• A big, bold toast to whatever you’ve done lately that deserves a damn gold star, including finishing up The Righteous Gemstones which I just did and can I just admit that I saw way more of Walton Goggins’ dong than was strictly necessary although this is a 5+ Star Watch for me!

  

  Drink up, my darlings. Whether you’re celebrating a milestone or just the fact that you survived another day in the multiverse, that counts.

Next week: some INDIE recs paired with (you guessed it) DRINKS! and a sneak peek at The Project That Will Hopefully Get Me A Book Deal (or at least an agent who’s not afraid of morally gray female protags). OR, perhaps, another chapter of the EV Road Trip with The Women (yeah that elevator pitch needs work so what?)

Until then, may your cocktails be strong, your characters stronger, and your bitterness properly balanced.

Cheers,
Liz

p.s. Greenville Peeps Only: Be sure to stop by the one and only SWOON BOOKSELLER, a mobile romance book truck on Sat. May 31 from 10 a.m. - 3 p.m. at Sun and Soil! This is one of the coolest things ever and soon you’ll find Liz Romance Books there! I can’t make the May one but I plan to be at as many summer stops as I can. Follow the amazing

Lilly Frederick

, the genius behind this book mobile!

pps. Check out my friend Penny’s new book and awesome pre-release publicity it’s getting! DOLL PARTS (click HERE to pre-order) is something way new and cool and dark academia combined with a domestic twisty twist on friendship. I’ll have my full review once it releases in August but in the meantime, TRUST ME you will love it! Follow Penny’s Substack Here. Click HERE to register to win a free copy of Doll Parts!