Éire go Brách
Who Is This Guy & Why are We Drinking So Much For Him?
Welcome, Substacker , to your more-or-less weekly advice/informational/breaking with the monthly theme content, also known as the 89% Unfiltered Word of Mouth.
Yo! It’s March. So we are going to talk about Kate and how Will is cheating on her and making her life miserable this month’s holiday, which, coincidentally or not, is an Irish themed one.
First, let’s discuss a few more common myths.
This Patrick guy was born in Ireland, destined to be its patron saint.
St. Patrick chased all the snakes out of Ireland.
St. Patrick’s Day is an excuse to drink too much, usually on a weekday.
St. Patrick’s Day is the Official Start of Beer Drinking Season and wearing green is mandatory.
Allow me to address each of these one by one:
The dude’s name was not Patrick. It was Maewyn Succat. He was English, but sold in Ireland as a slave after his family’s estate was attacked by Irish pirates. He escaped after six years back to England, went to Catholic school then returned later to Ireland as a missionary. He changed his name to “Patricius” which of course means we call him “Patrick,” when he became a priest. It means “father,” not “drink heavily in my honor in March.” Getting to that part.
And yes, I said Irish pirates.
Ireland = Island. There were no snakes to drive out. Rumor has it there never has been (see: “Ireland = Island”) and never will be. However, if you’re a good Sunday School Student like me, you know that, in Christianity, snakes and serpents have always represented evil. When young Maewyn returned to Ireland, it was a polytheistic place. That is to say, they worshipped many gods. Without getting into the fairly practical nature of this, it was his role as a missionary to rid them of this apparent misconception about the Power That Was. Taking a step back, it is said that a vision convinced him to return to the land that had imprisoned him, declaring that Ireland had spoken with one voice, coming to him in a vision saying, “We appeal to you, holy servant boy, to come and walk among us.” So he did. And he drove out those pesky other gods they gave credit to which is likely why he’s attributed with driving snakes out of a snake-less island. I.e. he brought Christianity with him.
St. Patrick’s Day is in honor of the day Patricius died. By pure ironic coincidence, this falls smack in the middle of Lent, which is a time many Catholics and others abstain from stuff, including alcohol. The fasting and whatnot during Lent is meant to allow for reflection upon the upcoming holiday wherein you eat chocolate eggs laid by big scary rabbits who sit on chairs in malls.
Okay, relax. I know what it’s for. I’m a Preacher’s Kid. Anyways, since this does fall in the during the abstemious season for so many, thanks to his helpful driving out of anything but belief in one version of religion, these folks were sort of between a Blarney Stone and a hard place. The solution? A single day’s worth of No Lent! Ergo: drink (and eat, but mostly drink) to your heart’s content! The day itself is now celebrated in many countries, but we Americans have brought it to the Next Level. Which brings me to…
It’s in two parts. First the wearing ‘o the green. It’s believed that good old Patricius née Maewyn used one of Ireland’s native plants to teach his new converts about the Trinity—you know, one leaf each for the Father, Son, Holy Spirit. When their favorite priest died and was sanctified, people wore the shamrocks on their clothing on The Day (March 17) to honor him, while breaking their newly minted Lent vows. This eventually evolved into wearing green, or risk a pinch, probably in America, because we love rules.
As for it being the Official Start of Beer Drinking Season, I’m going with that being gospel. We imbibe over the holidays, toast the new year with too much bubbly, go off the sauce in the winter to rest our livers, do our taxes, and regain control over messy closets and whatnot. Why not kick off a new year of drinking with a detoxed system in mid-March? Detox, so you can re-tox, I always say.
Part two: The beer most commonly affiliated with it IS NOT GREEN.
Allow me to repeat this: The beer you should drink to honor the memory of English guy who was a slave, then a missionary priest who brought Christianity to Ireland, IS NOT GREEN. Green beer is not a thing. THAT is yellow beer with food coloring. Don’t do it. I mean I rarely insist on things, but…
Perhaps, instead, allow me to introduce you to one of my favorite beer styles, the dry Irish stout. This could come with its own set of myths and myth-busting but I’ll spare you that. However, the history is interesting, and like many popular modern booze histories, is linked to taxation of ingredients, which led to a style that is one the most widely brewed throughout the world.
Dry stout began life as an English porter. Proper porters were brewed entirely with brown malt, and emerged in pubs in the early 18th century. Brewed to a multitude of strengths, “stout porter” was merely the stronger version. Eventually, “stouts” became a style rather than an adjective and were mostly brewed in London and Dublin. When Arthur Guinness opened his brewery at St. James Gate in Dublin, is was conveniently located next to the Grand Canal, which gave him easy access to the materials and ingredients he needed, both incoming and outgoing. More on his savviness later.
When black “patent” malt became available in 1819 thanks to an way cool invention by Daniel Wheeler which allowed beers to be brewed that were darker in color without adding anything that might change the actual flavor. The “patent” in the name reflects that he was granted one of those, British Patent 4112 for his invention, the Drum Malt Roaster, which allowed maltsters to roast malt to the point where a small amount of malt could darken a large amount of beer without imparting an overly burnt or tarry taste to the entire brew. Prior to this, dark brown was as about as dark as dark beers got. By 1828, Guinness had replaced their entire stock of brown malt with black patent malt, and their own stout porter started eliciting competition from other notable breweries such as Beamish, Crawford, and Murphy’s.
By the mid-1800s, Guinness products could be found from the United States to New Zealand, and were called single stout (porter), double stout (extra stout) and Foreign Extra Stout. They continued to innovate, adding flaked barley in the ‘50s and introducing the “draught” (pronounced “draft,” not like the condition where there is no rain for a long time) system in 1959. Thanks to this innovation, we get to have the Guinness Experience when one is properly poured, which is both visual and contextual—a.k.a. the dancing bubbles all through the glass, and the dry yet exceptionally smooth drinking experience.
Fun fact: this combination of carbon dioxide with nitrogen allowed the brewer to combine newer beers with old, flatter ones to create a brand new drinking experience, as well as not wasting older inventory. The Guinness family is credited with a lot of things, including savvy use of new ingredients, cheap rent (they have a 9000 year lease on their building for the equivalent of $1), inventory rotation methods, and marketing. Plus, their beer is excellent.
I’m lucky enough to have been able to visit St. James Gate with my family several years ago, during the years we lived near London. We will skip the part where my three kids believed that all vacations with mom and dad involved liquor in some form and will tell you about our trip to Scotland another time. Anyways, it’s a killer brewery tour, and no matter how fabulous a pour you might get at your favorite Irish pub stateside, there truly is nothing like one poured right from the source, fresh as a shamrock, so to speak.
OK TL;DR…let the following be your takeaway and move on.
To review:
The abbreviation is St. Patty’s NOT ST. PADDY’S. Sorry, had to throw that in along with a reminder that drinking GREEN BEER has nothing to do with the actual celebration of Ireland’s snake-killing patron saint who wears green and dances a jig at the end of the rainbow while throwing gold coins to... Oh. Wait. Okay. I get it. Drink it if you must. But at least understand the reason you’re doing it.
The best way to cap off the your day drinking on the 17th (which will be on a Sunday this year) is a shot of Jameson’s Irish Whisky, but spare me the argument about chasing that with pickle juice…shudders….
Guinness is excellent. Be sure and get it poured by someone who knows how as it’s a skill much different from any other beer dispensing. I myself am planning a journey to a place here in Greenville called The Irish Pub, probably on Saturday, possibly also on Sunday, in order to capture this experience in my newish place of residence. If you’ve got a different rec for a REAL pour of Guinness, please leave a comment.
“There are only two kinds of people in the world, the Irish and those who wish they were.”
NOW to the audiobook reviews already….
A Court of Thorns and Roses (ACOTAR at the cool kids table)….I see the appeal. I mean, it nails that whole concept of Big Fantasy in a Large New World with Good and Evil and Fairies and Monsters. It definitely has a hero’s journey. And all of the above elements are crafted carefully with an the focus on the romance at the appropriate place. Feyre our hero has the appropriate number of stomach clenches and wobbly knees around her supposed man Fae. And she’s also a pretty kick ass fighter, when backed up the wall. What I liked about her was that she was far from perfect. She tended to whine when she wasn’t getting her way and she was unapologetically illiterate which almost cost her her (and others’) life/lives. And when Feyre and her Fae man finallly (finally) bumped uglies (or, I guess, “pretties” in Faeland) it was epic in the way of Epic Sex Scenes that work real hard not to use specific sorts of words. The narrator was solid too.
I’ll admit to taking a break about 1/3 of the way into ACOMAF, A Court of Mist and Fury, book 2 as I am over Feyre’s whining. I’m sure she will snap out of it but honestly, we all know what it’s going to take and he’s tall, dark, and has wings. And I need a break from the r.e.a.l.l.y s.l.o.w b.u.r.n of it all.
Four thumbs up for ACOTAR on audible which is a round up from 3.5 which is math for two 👍🏻 👍🏻 for the sex scenes but three 👍🏻 👍🏻 👍🏻 for the story and four 👍🏻 👍🏻 👍🏻 👍🏻 for the narration.
As part of my break from Feyre and Her Man HotFairy Dude Problems, I am listening to Dead Keen, the follow up to Dead Sound, by Anise Eden, read by Lisa Kay. It’s a romantic suspense with Irish accents so I feel justified making that switch this week. I’ll have my review soon!
Until next time….Don’t drink green beer. Unless you want to. Becuase my substack is a judgement free zone…mostly.
Sláinte,
Liz